At the start of this year I had a narrowed down list of six things that I wanted to accomplish for sure by the end of this December. One of it was to give a full fledged concert by myself, not just stage performances and TV shows and one-hour singing, but a complete one.

I have had the opportunity to grow in a surrounding that was filled with carnatic music, eventually, because both my parents are trained in the same. Be it from the practice sessions or music classes, I knew the songs, the lyrics, the variations (sangathi) and who is singing what wrong, by just hearsay. But to be passionate about something I believe one should go in search of it, right. Needless to say that I never liked the aaahs-ooohs and ga-ma-pa-dha-ni in my childhood.

Then when I was left alone in a city with not much support and a desperate need to learn music, I started to appreciate what I had taken for granted till then. I kept being sent to competition after another or asked to sing for school functions regularly that I had to improve my stockpile of songs to save my face.

I have changed quite a few Gurus, learnt the best of their patantharams (style of singing), understood many a techniques and facts on the way, questioned many a practices, improved my manodharma (indigenous ideas), sang here and there, taught a few, and basically come a long way since then. What kept my love for the music is that there was no end to the possibility of exploring new things – there had never been a dearth surprises.

All that said, I quit. I give up. I don’t think I will sing anymore. And I dedicate this post to that person who gave a reason for me to write this post.

If you are right now thinking, “nee paadina enna paadala na enakkenna“, my sincere apologies. I just wanted to see how concrete the idea was outside my thoughts. Hence the post.

– Vid _/\_